The institution of marriage is a concept that has been debated over for years. Not everyone will agree to the fact that it’s a “necessity”, nor will everyone agree to the fact that it’s a choice best left for the couple to decide. Especially in a country like India, where marriage is literally the union of two families and not just two souls. But there are some things we don’t quite agree with.
Thanks to Bollywood, we’ve all been taught that girls are “Paraya Dhan” and our “Real Homes” are in our husbands. Excuse me Sir, but I decide which my “Real House” is. And it’s definitely not an heirloom that I’m destined to be stuck with. For heaven’s sake, I’m giving up my family to “settle” down in someone else’s house, what more do you expect us to do? Be the ping-pong ball to society’s double standard rituals? No, thank you.
Where are you when the same concept of marriage is portrayed differently to men? Can the two sides of the same coin have such distinct personalities? Why is the other side of a married life not spoken or warned about? What is marriage? Have Indians only gotten a chance to taste the bitter side of this institution?
Why isn’t she taught to cook for herself and not for her husband’s extended family?
Not all girls leave their humble, comfortable abode and settle in a place that challenges their abilities and highlights their disabilities. Some are conditioned to “take care” of everything that breathes around them. Telling them they’re useless to their future in-laws is as bad as someone coming and telling you your presence on this planet causes global warming.
SHE HAS COOKED WHEN SHE HAS MISSED HER MOM TERRIBLY AND ALSO PICKED UP THE BROOM WHEN SHE KNEW HER MOM WOULDN’T TURN UP TO CLEAN THE MESS.
She knows. She just knows how to deal with people who won’t entertain her tantrums. That’s what independence does to women. And that’s something she learned herself. She didn’t need your constant nagging. If she’s left on an island alone, she’ll feed herself. She won’t wait for an approval from her in-laws because that’s not the frikkin’ point.
What is it with parents telling their daughters to behave in front of their in-laws because ‘you’re their bahu, not their daughter?’
Courtesy Ekta Kapoor and Bollywood, we’ve always pictured Mother-In-Laws as vamps who wear Bindis that are the size of the black hole and eye make-up inspired by YouTube video tutorials. She’s always been the villain. Maybe you’d want to actually re-think and consider the fact that she’s just a mother? Not yours, somebody else’s, but still a mother.
MAYBE SHE’S WAITING TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HER DAUGHTER-IN-LAW THAT SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO FOR HER DAUGHTER SHE NEVER HAD.
Maybe she’s willing to do everything it takes to make you happy, only because she knows you’re the reason her son is going to be happy. Why is a daughter not told that she might just find another mother, who loves her exactly the way her mother does, or maybe even more?
Why is she told that she has to do everything it takes to keep her husband happy and why do the boys get to enjoy this like they’ve been bestowed with a slave for life?
Marriage is a union of two souls. It’s a relationship where every partner tries to do something for the other, not because he or she is compelled to, but because they want to see their partner happy. There might be times when the guy might be willing to take more efforts to keep his lady happy. Just because she has to do everything doesn’t mean she’s the only one doing it.
A MARRIAGE IS NOT THE UNION OF A PERFECT COUPLE BUT AN IMPERFECT COUPLE WHO ACCEPTS AND EMBRACES EACH OTHER’S FLAWS.
Why is a woman handed a rule book before she marries? Why can’t you let go of her with no preconceived notions drilled in her head?
YES! Women are strong and they can handle everything that comes their way if they believe they can. And I do not want to emphasize or highlight the fact that she bleeds and has the ability to give birth to a new life. I’d like to define her strength by her conviction to fight for herself even if the society doesn’t support her. I’d like to define her strength by her ability to play different roles and be the best she can in each one she plays, be it a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother or a grandmother.
This is where I think the society goes wrong. This is why I blame the society for making a woman detest the idea or the concept of marriage A woman can be anything she wants to be. She is strong enough to face challenges, she’s brave enough to fight against them all by herself, she’s kind enough to lend a helping hand if anyone needs it (whether she’s in the house or in her office), she’s confident enough to take decisions for herself.
Get her married if she wants to. Don’t send her off to a house by tuning her like a robot. She’s a human being. If there’s anything she can’t do, it’s falling prey to an age-old tradition of saying “Yes please” to everything that’s thrown at her. This isn’t about the woman, it’s about the society’s idea of an ideal woman. Ideally, you should be minding your business. But if that’s a problem, then at least try and making your business worthy enough to be spoken of.
And for all those, who are still unsure about what marriage is, you simply have to remember this one thing –
Marriage is not about the age at which you get hitched, it’s not even about those round rotis your mother has been threatening you against, it’s about finding the right person. And when you do, you know nothing else matters.
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