I have no good memory about my childhood. I do not want to recall incidents from my childhood. When I open my wound it brings unbearable pain to my heart. Pity is what I feel for myself. I feel pity for the lonely little girl. People killed my childhood, they tore me into so many pieces that I haven’t been able to fix till date. I was twelve years old. I was asked to get dressed. When I was getting dressed I thought, I must be going somewhere to play. My family married me off when I was thinking about school picnic, I was that young and immature. I was beaten by my in-laws everyday for dowry. I hardly knew what dowry was. I asked my husband where I would find dowry, and he thrashed me. All they wanted was loads of money in form of dowry. My family couldn’t give them anything.

My child was born when I was thirteen. I held her like a doll and was afraid if they take her away from me. This entails was my childhood and motherhood. One of my favourite teachers named my daughter ‘Joyita’. She told me, the meaning of her name of her name is ‘victory’ and that she would bring ‘victory’ for me. That of course was an uphill task. I was kicked out from my house and was rendered homeless. A thirteen-year-old mother and her baby daughter had no place in this big bad world for one night. Strangely, I had received help from people whom I never knew. Life taught me lessons in the most harsh way. The people I loved most has turned their backs and I was left with no one by my side. My battle was not about surviving. My battle was living in a loveless world and holding my daughter with a heart full of love. I never knew what true love was, what it feels to be loved. But my daughter held me tightly and I told myself, I had win for her sake. I had to give her an enjoyable childhood.

I completed my university, and my enrolled my daughter Jotiya in school. My world is this room. Every corner of the room is decorated by me and my daughter. This is our parlour and it’s name is ‘Joyita Beauty Parlour’. I work, laugh and dream. People asked me why I am not starting my life on a fresh note. I ask them what do they mean by ‘new’? They explained that they reffered to being in a new relationship. I laugh at lot. I have survived ten years of a battle with my little baby. Do I really need to have a new man to give a new meaning to my life? No, I don’t need. If my wound ever heals, may be one day I will find someone, someone who will make me believe in love.”
– Sayma (23)

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