6 Normal People Who Became Crazy Badasses When Facing Danger

When the shit really hits the fan, you can't predict how you'll act. In your imagination, you're definitely an unflinching badass who drop-kicks terrorists and delivers devil-may-care bon mots at oncoming nuclear explosions, but in real life? Let's just say most ambulances don't usually carry a spare pair of fresh pants in your size.

 

But then again, there are real folks out there who, when danger came a-knocking, mustered the mental steel to uppercut danger in its goddamn stupid idiot fart face. These are those paragons.

Stabbing Victim Pulls The Knife Out Of His Neck (And Returns The Favor)

Yonatan Azarihab was collecting charity money from businesses in the Israeli city of Petah Tikva when, upon entering a wine shop, he was jumped from behind by a total stranger. This new piggyback buddy introduced himself by stabbing Azarihab several times with a knife that we could calmly describe as "obscene."

Israeli PoliceAnd much less calmly as "shiterrifygasming."

Seriously wounded, Azarihab stumbled from the store with the assailant's knife still lodged in his neck. This was an opportune moment to get the hell out of Dodge or, at the very least, play dead (by falling into real unconsciousness). But Azarihab wasn't having it -- after noticing that the stick-up man had turned his attention to the shopkeeper, the victim rose to his feet, pulled the fucking knife out of his neck, and stabbed that asshole right in his fucking sense of poetic justice. Also, his body.

The attacker was later shot dead by police, who confirmed that this "random" stabbing was actually one element of a coordinated attack against the city that day. Azarihab didn't just take on a street mugger and win: he took on a terrorist berserker and won.

Ben Sales/Times of IsraelAlso, he apparently doesn't exercise, so maybe those 48 times you watched Road House are training enough?

Florida Officer Foils A Prison Break With A Knee To The Dick

Corrections officer Reeshemah Taylor was patrolling the hallways of Osceola County Jail's medical ward one night when her colleague abruptly disappeared from radio contact. But her coworker wasn't enjoying some "incognito browsing" time -- Taylor turned a corner and found him lying unconscious. This was surprising, but probably not as surprising as the gun she suddenly felt pressed against her head.

And to make this scenario even more like the opening minutes of an AXN movie, Taylor had stumbled into an inside job. The gunman was Angel Santiago, a violent criminal serving three life sentences. The insider who planned the escape was Michelle Hung, a fellow corrections officer. It turns out that the combination of disinfectant and the constant threat of being shanked makes for a powerful aphrodisiac, since the two quickly became an item and planned a romantic getaway.

Florida Department of CorrectionThey had to be tried in separate courthouses because the raw sexual magnetism was giving juries the vapors.

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Source: cracked

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