10. Resurrection Rejection

This story… this is… wow. First off, before even explaining just what happened, it must be noted that the aforementioned crack at Scientology was really just a precursor to another religious slag because… wow. So a popular Sufi in Pakistan had been gaining notoriety by performing “miracles” for a number of years. Deciding that it was time to give a big show to his followers, this Sufi claimed he was going to perform a resurrection. But he wasn’t going to do something so mundane as to raise an old corpse… he wanted a fresh one. So he put out notice, looking for an acolyte willing to volunteer to be killed, and resurrected. The follower was married, and with children. On a Wednesday the ritualistic killing occurred, and preparations for the miracle resurrection began… that Thursday the Sufi was behind bars for murder. One’s not sure whether the Sufi or the acolyte was more stupid, and though one might be inclined to consider this a case of mental illness… well there are over one billion Catholics in the world, and they all believe in resurrection too; not to mention the thousands of other Christian denominations. Apparently a fifth of the world is certifiable.

9. Planking… Not Necessarily A Good Exercise

Ok, so planking as an ab workout is alright (so long as one’s worked their abs up to the strain first), but this predominantly Aussie game of planking is… very silly. Now the photo above isn’t a direct reference to the event being discussed here, but the positioning of this idiot soldier is what this planking trend is all about. The fact that the above man is doing it on a bazooka is… rather telling, but otherwise, time to move on to the case. This act is commonly done on train tracks, clotheslines, police cars, and fire hydrants, and people take photos of it to share to the world their stupidity. The man in this incident decided it would be a great idea to get a shot of him planking on a balcony. Well the descent of man is apparently due to an incredible lack of intelligence. As is clearly suggested, the man went stiff as a board, tipped over the wrong side, and whatever was left of him on the pavement below… went stiff as a board.

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