2. Cesspool Sacrifice

In a small town called Karczówka, in Poland, a group of seven men drowned in a cesspool. Opening up the septic tank to empty it into a slurry tank, the first man succumbed to the hydrogen sulfide fumes, which are highly toxic. What the man was doing that close to the muck to breathe in the fumes heavily enough to pass out is beyond this author, but it happened. Each man who came to the rescue of the first, in turn, also succumbed to the toxic fumes. Eight men in total ended up passing out into the cesspool… only one of them survived. Four of the men who ended up very truly “in the shit” were related. One speculates if this genetic connection is relevant. Regardless, a full 5% of the little town of Karczówka died in this event (its population being only 160— 153 strong). Indeed a close-knit but illogical town, there was reportedly a lineup of people ready to dive in after the first eight, but by that point, there was no more room. It’s one shitty way to go, but one has to think… if the first passed out from fumes… and the second passed out from fumes… and the third, fourth, fifth… one gets the picture. Maybe cover up before diving in.

1. The Killer Cabriolet

Besides the obvious killer of one’s chances with a date, the Cabriolet is apparently responsible for actually killing as well. To be fair, this is only due to shoddy work being done on it. 39-year-old mechanic, Scott, figured that it would be best to leave the car in the condition he had it, so people couldn’t steal his car (not that they would in the first place). The trick Scott had in place, or rather the state of disrepair in which Scott had his car, was such that he had to put the car in gear (with the handbrake on), and then touch two wires together under the hood to start the ignition. Scott also happened to have his car set to run at a fast idol to prevent the engine from stalling. What does this all mean? Well one day, Scott forgot to set the handbrake… putting his car in gear, and popping the hood, he touched the two wires together, started the engine, and the fast idol lurched the car forward, and it kept going, running completely over the poor man. Receiving thirty six separate injuries from the incident, Scott obviously didn’t make it. The coroner on the case stated: “It is quite clear that the cause of this tragedy was the unusual starting method [Scott] used to start his car.” Let this be a lesson: if the car is in gear, and you’re not in the driver’s seat… put the handbrake on. Also: keep your car in good shape, and use the damn keys.

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