14. Wiper Fluid Cocktail

Alright, so the Beer Store (a Canadian store that sells… beer) has truck drivers to deliver their product. And those drivers have big trucks with which to deliver said product. And those trucks have cleaners in order to keep the image of the company as shiny as the billboard trailers they haul across the country. Some drivers, for some reason, like to store certain liquids in certain bottles. Typically this is urine in pop bottles, but in this instance, someone decided to leave a special treat for a cleaner. Upon inspection of a truck, this specific cleaner found a bottle of blue vodka behind the driver’s seat. Thinking he’d come across a solid find, he stole what he assumed was the previous driver’s vodka. Not questioning that it was blue, not thinking to smell, and apparently lacking each and every one of his taste buds, the cleaner began swigging. Which was a very bad idea. He died two days later from methanol poisoning. He was drinking wiper fluid. The irony here is that if he had decided to actually start drinking some alcohol instead, the ethanol could have chanced to bond with the methanol, saving his life. Alas, he did not make it.
13. An Explosive Finnish

Two brothers-in-law in Finland happened to be huge collectors of military armaments. By the time of death, these two Finns had collected over one hundred frag grenades, bazookas, fuse materials, and ammunition. In Canada, these sorts of collections can only be had illegally, or by way of a prohibited firearms license, an enormous amount of paperwork, and routine checks and charges. However, in Finland, no one batted an eye about this collection… until one fateful day. Working in their garage, one of the gents was diffusing a grenade from their collection (why they didn’t have this done professionally is mind boggling). This was no regular grenade either: it was an anti-tank grenade. Thankfully it wasn’t a phosphorous grenade, but an anti-tank grenade can really go boom. Luckily for one of the gents, there was only a small explosion. The fairly old explosive materials simply combusted and burned, creating a comparatively small explosion to what could have happened. The man holding the grenade died in transit to the hospital, and his brother-in-law managed to survive with serious injuries. Lucky for the community that the rest of armaments didn’t go off. Lesson learned: don’t disarm explosives in your garage… give them to a professional.

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