Just when you've found your healthy eating groove, coworkers invite you to happy hour, your spouse comes home with an extra-large pizza, or Gran insists you try a slice of homemade cheesecake. While these loved ones may not fit the bill of the stereotypical food tyrant from 7th grade—you know, that one who pressured you to surrender your snack cake—they do represent another, albeit more loving, form of food bullies. Meet the food pushers. 

In many cultures, "feeding is a way of showing love," says Cheryl Harris, RD, a certified health and wellness coach in Fairfax, Virginia. In other words, Gran is not trying to sabotage your health by pushing dessert on you. This is just her way of showing affection. But if you're struggling with weight management, trying to control your blood sugar, or dealing with food allergies and sensitivities, how can you tactfully decline those homemade goodies? Here are four tactics to try. (Learn how simple it is to control your blood sugar with food—no pills needed!—with the easy plan in The Natural Way To Beat Diabetes.) 

1. Fess up.

Dishing out your goals before they dish out dessert will help everyone understand why you're saying no. "In some situations, it's easy to put off the piece of cheesecake by saying 'I'll try a piece later,' but with close family, it's harder to stall," says Harris. "Tell them how they can support you," she says. For example, you might not want or be able to eat the cheesecake, but you can tell them how much you would love it if they could make their signature chicken soup for you sometime, Harris explains. 

2. Change your word choice.

A 2012 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found a significant difference between saying "I don't" versus "I can't" when using self-talk to overcome temptation. After 120 undergraduates with healthy-eating goals were asked to either say "I don't eat X" or "I can't eat X," those who used "don't" reported feeling more empowered by their decision. (Use these strategies to lose weight faster.)

Now let's be real: Whispering "I don't eat ice cream" to yourself when your family offers is bound to raise a few eyebrows. "Instead of saying 'I can't eat X,' try saying, 'I won't feel well if I eat X,'" Harris suggests. "There are things that are universally understood, and not feeling well is one of them. It's hard for anyone to argue with that." This approach is also helpful for anyone who wishes to keep medical issues private, Harris adds. "Not everyone wants to talk about their diabetes or celiac disease." 

3. Compliment the chef.

It's hard for anyone to be offended if you praise his or her efforts. Minh-Hai Alex, RD, owner of Mindful Nutrition in Seattle, recommends having a few rehearsed answers in your back pocket, such as "That looks delicious, but I'm allergic to X," or if allergies aren't the issue, "I'd love to try some when I'm not so full. Can I take a portion home?" 

4. Stand your ground.

"A simple 'no thank you' suffices," says Alex. "Even if you have to repeat it." People who have a hard time turning down food they don't want may also have a hard time saying no in general, she explains. "Many of my clients who struggle with overeating often struggle with people-pleasing and putting everyone else's needs first." She reminds her clients that it's not their responsibility to make anyone happy by overeating or dismissing their own body's needs. "By saying no to a dish you don't want or are too full for, you are saying 'yes' to honoring your body and honoring yourself."

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