15 Secrets From “Rocket Man” Kim Jong Un’s Inner Circle

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10. His Aunt Was Sad About Her Husband… So He Took Care Of Her Too

Rocket Man is just out there straight up Eric and Lyle Menendezing the elders in his family. We already reported that he killed his uncle, but he had a decent reason there, or as decent a reason as one can have for throwing a naked family member into a cage of hungry dogs and watching them devour him—his uncle was trying to steal the country’s leadership from him. But Kim Jong Un killed his aunt for no other reason than she was sad that her husband was turned into dog food. He was slightly more humane in dispatching her, simply poisoning her food. In fact, this method even gave him plausible deniability, with some in the country claiming that she died of natural causes or committed suicide. But this is Kim Jong Un. Which story do you think is more likely?

9. He Is The Youngest World Leader If His Age Is Accurate

Nobody is quite sure of the exact year Rocket Man was born. In case you hadn’t picked up on this already, the regime over in North Korea is pretty secretive. For instance, they claim that nobody lives in poverty and their economy is a veritable conflagration. But humanitarian groups that have studied the country state that as many as half its children are malnourished. Also, remember his father’s reported golf score, which would have meant acing multiple par 4’s and even par 5’s. So, while Kim Jong Un claims to be 33 years old, that could mean anything from 18 to 80. But let’s take him at his word and say he’s 33. That would make him the youngest world leader on the globe. Perhaps he’ll improve with experience, although I don’t think anyone is holding their breath.

8. He Went To College In Switzerland Under A Fake Name — But Played Too Many Video Games And Flunked Out!

Rocket Man’s father, Kim Jong Il, sent his son to the International School of Berne in Switzerland under the name Pak Un. (That’s pronounced “packin,” and according to several female defectors who were once part of his harem, it’s a highly inaccurate moniker.) Unfortunately, Not-Pak-Un spent all his time playing video games and zero time going to class or studying for exams. He eventually flunked all his classes, and his father had to pull him out of school and enroll him in a state school in North Korea. So basically, he’s like that rich kid from your high school who got into UPenn because of his dad’s money and connections, but couldn’t hack it and joined the rest of your class at Penn State second semester freshman year.

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