Breakups come with a range of complex emotions - fear, sadness, rejection, jealousy, guilt, shame, self-doubt, and anger. You get into the 'Why me?' mode of playing victim and get trapped in the downward spiral of self-defeating behavioural patterns thus disrupting your daily life.
Well, it is an universal emotion. Studies suggest that almost everyone will experience the break-up of a romantic relationship at some point in their lives and unfortunately, most will experience break-ups several times. As per a study conducted by psychologists Monroe, Rohde, and Seeley, in 1999, break-up or divorce can initially result in negative outcomes such as depression, loneliness, distress, and a loss of self or sense of who they are as a person.
However, your self-talk during a breakup actually determines how soon you can recover. Nidhika Bahl, a certified success coach and author of upcoming book "The Queen Of The Comeback - 7 Ways For Anyone To Bounce Back From Life's Obstacles shares interesting tips on how to handle the emotions of a broken relationship.
1.Let go of any feelings of guilt
Many times people beat themselves down after a break up because they feel guilty. They think it's their fault that the relationship broke up. Do you also feel like it's your fault that you broke up? Regardless, you need to let go of any feelings of guilt. It is what it is! Come to understand that this is the way things are now, and you cannot change the past. However, if you have done something that requires an apology, let the situation calm down for a while, then apologize to help clear your conscience and avoid regret.
2.Avoid the trap of self-pity
Another trap you must avoid is wallowing in self-pity because it can lead you to a downward spiral of negative emotions and self-sabotage behaviour patterns. Just remember that your past is not your future, and after every dark night, there is a dawn. So don't worry, because the happy days will be back, sooner than you can imagine.
3.Don't judge yourself for feeling relieved
Feeling a sense of relief after a break up is normal . Even though you may be very sad, you may still experience some comfort in your newfound freedom of being single again. So don't judge yourself and beat yourself down if you feel a sense of relief.
4.Deliberately release all the anger
Even though it's normal to experience some anger post break up, excessive anger needs to be kept in check. Anger can make you do funny things and cloud your judgement. So you must work through your anger, otherwise you could grow to be old and bitter. Whenever you experience the bouts of anger, avoid any discussions with a friend, that's only going to multiply the negative energy and keep you stuck. Rather, express it on paper and release the energy from your body onto the paper. Later you can burn this paper and release the energy to ether with love and light. While you are at it also forgive anybody who needs to be forgiven, including yourself. This will go a long way towards self-preservation.
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