Initiate contact and move towards others. Not only are your feet a revealing barometer of your true feelings, but your whole lower half is as well. As Wood explains, this is because “It is under the least conscious control and tends to be the first part of the body to respond to stress with the freeze-flight-fight-or-faint response. It is not surprising that, when we meet someone for the first time, or start an interaction, we feel a bit stressed. We may freeze up or step or lean back in retreat.”
To show confidence then, be the one who initiates contact with others. It’s nice to be approached, naturally, but people find it flattering when you move towards them. Step towards others while projecting a warm disposition and with a smile on your face, so that your approach seems friendly, rather than threatening. And once you start to interact, rather than retreating, hold your ground, while still respecting people’s personal space, of course.
Watch your feet. Even if the fight-or-flight response doesn’t have your feet actually stepping backwards, you may find them subconsciously pointing away from the person you’re interacting with, and towards an exit — contradicting the impression that you’re confident and present.
Nerves may also cause you to move your feet together when you’re sitting or to tuck them under your chair. But just like when standing, a nice amount of space between your dogs denotes relaxation and confidence, and they come off as more confident when planted firmly in front of you.
Gesture when you talk. As Ricky Bobby can attest, it’s hard to know what to do with your hands. You want to keep them open, as we mentioned, but it can feel awkward to just let them dangle at your sides. So naturally gesture with your hands as you talk. Not only have expressive people been found to make others feel more comfortable, but making gestures has also been shown to cut down on your tendency to say “uhhh” and “ummm.”
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