People Who Cheated On Their Partners Confess All The Thoughts That Came To Them After It

Life

"In high school and college, I cheated about a half-dozen times total.

During the cheating, it felt decadent. I knew it was unethical. I knew it had the potential to hurt someone I cared about. I knew it had the potential to screw up a relationship I valued. But I wanted it so bad. It was selfish, and that's why it felt good. It's thrilling to give in and take something you've been denying yourself. But after the cheating, I always felt gutted by guilt, and terrified of the consequences of my actions. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. I felt doomed to keep repeating this cycle.
Ever been on a diet, and then snuck a piece of cheesecake? It's like that. Times 100. The desire, the self-denial, the built-up longing, the inevitable explosion, the indulgence, the shame, the self-recrimination."

Another woman, however, feels that cheating actually brings focus in life.

Anotherwoman, however, feels that cheating actually brings focus in life.

Writing anonymously, she said, "It feels insane, bizarre, like you wandered into a surrealist painting."

"When he kissed me for the first time, so unexpectedly, it felt like my shocked mind was short-circuiting. The best and biggest drug rush one could feel, physically and mentally. That tipping point was like a series of roller coaster carts being ratcheted up the first and biggest hill. I suppose of course, that there may have been a dramatic rescue, the passengers climbing down a long ladder to the safety of solid ground, but how often does that happen? No, the breathtaking swoop down hill is practically inevitable; terrifying and incredible at once.
Cheating brings everything into strong focus; your own selfishness, your pure happiness with the new turn of events, all the cracks and flaws and dulled luster of your marriage. It feels insane, bizarre, like you wandered into a surrealist painting. It keeps you up those first nights, staring at the ceiling as you lay next to your slumbering spouse, thoughts a million miles away. It gives you a nervous/excited jolt when you think about it, like a new high-school relationship but with heaps of (tantalizing) wrongness, taboo. It makes you feel sick, stomach twisting in knots as you go about the routine of vacuuming, serving your husband his dinner with a smile and a peck on the forehead. You wake up aroused, with your jaw aching from grinding your teeth."

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