They grew distant and divorced
Though Scientology's highest leaders were supposedly suspicious of Nicole from the start, efforts were made to bring her into the organization and turn her into an ally. She was accelerated through the ranks of Scientology doctrine, but never truly got on board, according to The Sydney Morning Herald. Efforts were allegedly made to get her to denounce her father, who was a psychiatrist, a specific field of study that Scientologists have long raged against. These efforts failed, and likely backfired.
Additionally, in May of 1991, Time magazine ran a scathing exposé on Scientology as their cover story, calling it a "thriving cult of greed and power." This article, coupled with her own personal misgivings with how Scientology was affecting her life, reportedly encouraged Nicole to try and pull Tom away from the organization. It was a game of tug-of-war that lasted until the end of the decade. The pressure must have been enormous, even before the church allegedly began tapping the phones in the couple's Los Angeles home, according to Vanity Fair. As their differences became irreconcilable and conditions in the marriage grew increasingly intolerable, Tom and Nicole announced their impending divorce on February 6, 2001.
Tom keeps the kids, Nicole gets shut out
Of course, then there was the matter of the kids, still preteens at the time of the divorce. Who would take custody of the two? Would Tom and Nicole share it? They did, for a time, according to the Daily Mail. But as Nicole's star rose and she took more demanding jobs, the kids spent more and more time with their father, seeing their mother less and less. They began to be home-schooled by Tom's sisters, with a Scientology-focused educational regimen, and one summer went to a Scientology-focused summer camp instead of spending it with Nicole. By 2005, they were effectively living with Tom full-time, and by choice.
The years of estrangement
For years, Nicole Kidman's relationship with her children remained estranged. Isabella grew up and got married without inviting her mother, even though they were in the same city at the time, according to Page Six. Neither child attended their grandfather's funeral, the Daily Mail reported. In the another article, the Daily Mail said they referred to Katie Holmes as "Mom" starting in 2006, and seemingly didn't talk about their real mother… at all.
Leah Remini shared an anecdote from this time period in her new book (via Vulture), about an incident immediately after the 2006 wedding of Tom to Katie Holmes. Sharing a ride to the airport, Leah asked the kids about their mother, and if they still saw her a lot. Bella surprised Remini with the ferocity of her answer. "Not if I have a choice," said Bella, reportedly. "Our mom is a f**king SP." And just in case you need that translated, it means "Suppresive Person."
But there are signs of reconciliation
Last year in August, it was reported that Nicole had finally gotten to meet her daughter's husband, nearly a year after the two were married. As for Isabella, she denies there are problems now. "Of course we talk," she said, They're my parents." Her son Connor spoke similarly. "I don't care what people say. I know that me and mum are solid. I love her a lot. My family means everything."
Families are hard work
The moral of the story is that life, especially family life, is incredibly messy. And it gets worse when you add into the mix two huge stars with international profiles, millions of dollars, and a secretive religious group with serious sway. It's just about enough to make us appreciate our own families all the more, whatever their flaws, for keeping things less complicated than this clan. And though Tom and Nicole have been long-divorced, moved on, and remarried, they'll still always be connected through the kids they raised together. We wish them all happiness, and the best of luck in getting it.
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