15 Secrets From “Rocket Man” Kim Jong Un’s Inner Circle

Asia

If you haven’t heard of “Rocket Man” Kim Jong Un, then you most likely haven’t been reading the papers or watching the news.

To give a quick rundown, Kim Jong Un is the dictator of North Korea, the most politically-isolated country in the world. He took the country’s reins in 2011 upon the death of his father, Kim Jong Il, who inherited the role from his father, Kim Il Sung, the leader put in place following the Korean War. To this day in North Korea, where religion is expressly verboten, Kim Il Sung is the closest thing to a god-like figure.

There are a lot of stories about Kim Jong Un and his forebears. A few years before his death, his father claimed–with a straight face–that he shot something like a 25 on a standard, par-72 golf course. For reference, the best golfers in the world almost never shoot under 60 and even 65 or under is considered a tremendous score.

Another hobby of the Kims is scaring countries like South Korea and Japan by conducting nuclear tests over their mainland and, lately, engaging in back-and-forth tough talk with the U.S. President. He’s the one who gave Kim Jong Un the moniker “Rocket Man” for his love of weapons of mass destruction. If you’re thinking that a guy like Kim Jong Un has some pretty crazy stories, you aren’t wrong. Here are 15 shocking ones straight from his inner circle.

15. He Got Plastic Surgery To Look Like His Grandfather

When you put this in the context of a normal dude in a normal country, it’s just insane. I mean, my grandfathers were decent-looking dudes, and I’m sure both of them pulled plenty of chicks in their heydays. But as a guy the same age as Kim Jong Un, if I’m dropping the money for plastic surgery so I can look like another dude, it’s going to be Zac Freaking Efron, not someone who’s in his 80’s or 90’s no matter how much I look up to him. The only reason I’d pay thousands of dollars to change what I look like is to smash more with the ladies, not look half a century older than I really am. But Kim Jong Un isn’t a normal dude in a normal country.

14. When His Father Died, Mourning Was Mandatory

When Kim Jong Il bought the farm in 2011, let’s be real, his son probably reacted the same way that Danny DeVito did in Ruthless People when his wretched wife got kidnapped—lots of tears in public, followed by lots of jumping up and down on the bed and cheering in private. After all, the whole country is now his. But for the millions of citizens under his iron fist, mourning was mandatory, as in you could literally be sentenced to hard labor for not showing enough grief over Kim Jong Il’s death. A cottage industry even emerged of grief coaches training people on how to shed a sufficient number of crocodile tears. Wonder if Colin Kaepernick still thinks it’s so bad here after reading that.

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